Choices

So last night I went over to my Grammers house for one last visit before I head back to Nashville. It's funny sometime in old age people tend to become the authority on everything. Now I say this in love...cause I dearly LOVE my grammers, but last nights visit was a bit too high intensity for me. She was talking about how horrible the music industry is and how absolutely scandalous it all is. How guys are so unfaithful while they are out on the road....zada zada zada.

Now, obviously working in the industry for almost 5 years now...sure I've seen that, been mixed up a few of those type of dudes (not knowing of course) and so forth, but to give a blanketed statement like that didn't sit well with me....for the pure fact that it comes down to CHOICES...INTERGRITY...and CHARACTER! When I was 20 and working in the tech industry...you better believe it was way worse than what I have seen in the music industry. Maybe not way worse, but it was way more in your face.

It's funny, I feel like recently in sermons, conversations with friends and mentors, and in my reading the theme has been Choices, Integrity and LOVE. We are faced with choices each and every day....we in essence can pass or fail in our actions, words, and how we love each day. Every decision we make has a consequence....has repercussions. I want to be a person who LOVES well, who in the midst of a crummy situation guards my tongue and honors others (except my landlords...bah hahaha). I want to live out "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I know that is such the "christian-ese" thing to say, but I want to live a life that is a legacy of love and caring.

A few quotes I am chewing on:

"Those who cover themselves God exposes, but those who expose themselves God covers."

"It's not what you advertise that counts; it's what you are really made of" - Crazy Love - Francis Chan


PS.....I highly recommend you all reading "Crazy Love" and "Forgotten God" By Francis Chan

Adjusted

So as many of you know....I thought I would only be in Nashville for a year or two...thinking I would be so ready to come back to Seattle. Of course leaving my fam was the hardest part about it and in reality (they know this)...staying put in Seattle to be close to my fam has held me back from quite a bit. That being said, when we all had the peace about me moving...I made the trek (as you can see in the map above) :) I will be hitting 2 years on March 3rd of my "new" little life in Nashville...and in all honestly, I do not foresee myself coming back to Seattle any time soon....or at all. The great thing is my family lives in Seattle so I can always visit...and yes I still dearly LOVE this city dearly!

Prior to coming out here (Seattle) for Christmas I had this realization...and of course it is always in God's perfect timing...He has finally made it clear to me that I may never end up coming back to Seattle. I think if I had known that in leaving....I prob would've been more hesitant...just for the pure fact of I LOVE THE WATER and of course my family....espec the little ones. I am blessed to have a family that keeps me alive and well with Taylor, Ben, and baby Jensen...so my bond with them is incredible. So blessed in that.

So here lies the answer to the questions I have been getting about moving back to Seattle and my life in the ville. I am where I know I am supposed to be. Thankful for my friends, my community, and what Nashville holds for me while God has me there.

Lean On Me - Learning To Lean

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on


Do you ever have a hard time leaning on people?! Enabling others to help you?! Being independent to a fault?! Me too! Been there...working on that! :)

A few years ago, a good friend named Jessica Hong (yea, I know you are gonna read this...SHOUTOUT!!) called me out on my inability to truly lean on others. I love love love being there for people...loving, caring, encouraging, helping...it is who I am. Other side of that: I HATE burdening people or asking for help or bumming other people out when I'm having a rough go. It's hard for me. It pushed me to be independent to an unhealthy level, which obviously I have definitely progressed...thank you thank you :)

When we don't allow others to love on us/serve us...we are not being fair. The joy that I get from loving/encouraging others...is the joy others get from doing the same for me. My mom so graciously has pointed that out to me since I have been back in Seattle. hahaha

Obviously our #1 to lean on is God. #2 - lean on your support team. Let them love on you, encourage, serve...as you enjoy doing for them. I am truly blessed with amazing support teams around this country...more and more they are all teaching me how to lean. You will know when those people come along in your life who are truly in this friendship equally....give as much as they take. I admit it's pretty rare to find a handful of them, but I have def. lucked out in my older yrs with finding gems! I am humbled that some of them would give a care about simple plain me...and in their desire to love on me...it shows the Fathers heart...how much we mean to Him that He would send these people into our lives.

Anyways, I thought I would share what's been on my mind the past two days. I love being refined...I love when people call me out. Sometimes it's hard to hear, but let's be honest...none of us are perfect...there is so much to learn. Make sure you have those iron sharpen iron relationships in your world.

Love, encourage, and serve...allow others to do the same for you.

xoxo

TRUST...What It Really Means

I posted this tree as the pic for two reasons: 1) I think it is beautiful and it reminds me of a sweet day where I was just breathing in the park and 2) trees stick out to me.....the branches, the roots, the colors, the leaves...and how it can correlate to our lives.

Without going into too much detail, I would rather just share with you all some things I feel God is showing me....refining me on. TRUST..... Trust is something that I have held onto for years...you all know this. My life verse being Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. This verse I have held onto for forever...even have the reference tattooed on my foot. I also, may or may not have "TRUST" in wood lettering over my bed. It is something that I feel God is continually calling me to do. I will thankfully say that I have grown in my trusting of God...baby steps each year. Whether that be to letting go of the dream job (what I think I wanted), moving to Nashville away from my family (which I can now see clearly why that was necessary), to who to invest in, etc.

That being said, God is teaching me something more now in the TRUST area. Sometimes we say we are trusting....and yes to a degree we are, but we also wallow....or allow insecurities to take room in our thoughts, or shove what has happened in our past to affect our level of trust. Does that make sense?!

I guess my point in this is....to truly trust....you release...you believe God has your best in mind...you believe God to "fix" it...in whatever aspect He wants to. It is to let go and TRULY BELIEVE...to TRUST!

"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You" - Psalm 143:8

"For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence" - Psalm 71:5

"So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock (The Rock of Ages)." - Isaiah 26:4

"Who is among you who (reverently) fears the Lord, who obeys the voice of His Servant, yet who walks in darkness and deep trouble and has no shining splendor (in his heart)? Let him rely on, trust in, and be confident in the name of the Lord, and let him lean upon and be supported by his God." - Isaiah 50:10

"Commit you way to the Lord (roll and repose each care of your load on Him); trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass" - Psalm 37:5

sidenote: trust plays into others....be sure not to push past hurt or false expectations on others...thus creating a gap. Sure, people are gonna let you down and hurt you. We tend to hurt the ones we love the most the worst....which sucks! But I think that doesn't have to be true if God is the center...being completely honest and having open communication. Love conquers all! Truth leaves no room for questions!

loves to you all

*disclaimer before you read any other posts....I thought of deleting them....but it was where I was and was in life. I will be the first to admit I was lost after my Cupie died, but the Annie that once was is almost completely back to 100% :) which has me eager and excited to see what God is going to do and how He will use talents and gifts that I had pushed down as a "defense mechanism"