this day holds so much for me...
#1 - 3 years ago taylor was born. I will forever remember that day. I got the call that Hallie was in labor. I jumped in my car and drove like a mad woman from Federal Way (WV headquarters) all the way up Everett in SNOW! Yea, I made it in 45 minutes....shhhhh! haha. I unfortunately was not there when Taylor was born...I had to work at the pier on the waterfront of Seattle...One Life Experience was open for the public on World Aids Day. Taylor is such a blessing in my life and I am so very thankful for one of the most amazing...if not THE MOST AMAZING NIECE in all of history. Side note, it was her friends bday party today...and I got to crash it after I worked at UO....she was out like a light after the merry-go-round ride...so cute!
#2...its World AIDS Day....and if you know me...this is very important in my life. One Life Revolution was a HUGE part of my life for 3 years....almost 3 years ago. And since the program is no longer...well, its bitter sweet. Thank God the OLE is up and in full effect...and well, thanks to my buddy Scott Erickson...the OLR artwork/translation can be seen on my neck :) I am very proud of that tattoo...as that is such a passion of mine that will always continue on. So make sure to do something today...and well always remember those impacted by AIDS. In so many countries...Africa...there are generational gaps because of the AIDS pandemic...children raising children...do something to help!
#3...I have a few friends that also have birthdays today...and for them I am grateful cause they are friends that I am so glad I have in my life and pray that our friendships continue to grow and more memories to be made...So Happy Birthday to Drew Holwerda and Janie Taylor....and as horrible as this sounds...I know I have more friends that have bday's today...so I suck and HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
nashville visit
I cannot wait til Wednesday! to jump on the plane and be on my way to nashville. Get there...head to the hotel and change...go to dinner with jody...then meet up with my girl Carrie and ring in her birthday!
Over the next few days, I will work my tail off, but I will be surrounded by people who love me, know me, care about me, all BS aside. Tic, Marko, Jody, Jim, Rich, Will, Kaylyn, Kendall...all my YS family. Then Megs is flying in to work Jedi and spend time with me. carrie is coming to spend her bday with me...work a bit and hang. i get to see my one of my besties in nashy - EMILY!!! I cannot wait!!! I mean seriously so many people that I love and cant see enough of...Missy, Alexis, Anne Marie, Mark, Aaron, Suzie, Keith, Lins, Sarah, Ellen, Ben, Brad, Bryan, Matt, Mike, Nick(s), ...I mean the list goes on and on.
I am almost so anxious to go...for an escape and refresh that I am having a hard time sleeping. haha
I know there are gonna be tears shed, laughter to the point of pain, deep convos and challenges posed to me that I need, other thoughts and opinions, and lots and lots of love!
then after this amazing trip I will make it back home the night before Thanksgiving to my parents (get off the plane at 9, go to my place and grab my dog then drive to the 'rents) to spend 2 solid days with my family. The next day to work at urban from 9-5...then to spend the rest of the night and into the weeeee hours of the morning with another bestie back in town, Apple!!!
So to just get through the next few days...get things all set for JC's release week...and be prepared to work 14 hour days and then bond with all my friends in nashy...as the little engine that could said "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...choochoo choochoo" :)
Over the next few days, I will work my tail off, but I will be surrounded by people who love me, know me, care about me, all BS aside. Tic, Marko, Jody, Jim, Rich, Will, Kaylyn, Kendall...all my YS family. Then Megs is flying in to work Jedi and spend time with me. carrie is coming to spend her bday with me...work a bit and hang. i get to see my one of my besties in nashy - EMILY!!! I cannot wait!!! I mean seriously so many people that I love and cant see enough of...Missy, Alexis, Anne Marie, Mark, Aaron, Suzie, Keith, Lins, Sarah, Ellen, Ben, Brad, Bryan, Matt, Mike, Nick(s), ...I mean the list goes on and on.
I am almost so anxious to go...for an escape and refresh that I am having a hard time sleeping. haha
I know there are gonna be tears shed, laughter to the point of pain, deep convos and challenges posed to me that I need, other thoughts and opinions, and lots and lots of love!
then after this amazing trip I will make it back home the night before Thanksgiving to my parents (get off the plane at 9, go to my place and grab my dog then drive to the 'rents) to spend 2 solid days with my family. The next day to work at urban from 9-5...then to spend the rest of the night and into the weeeee hours of the morning with another bestie back in town, Apple!!!
So to just get through the next few days...get things all set for JC's release week...and be prepared to work 14 hour days and then bond with all my friends in nashy...as the little engine that could said "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...choochoo choochoo" :)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Danny Kaye
So, if you don't know who Danny Kaye is....well...let me educate you! He is definitely one of my classic favorite actors. He was in the movie classic Hans Christian Anderson, Court Jester, On The Riviera (my fave), and many more!! I was raised on the classics....Cary Grant, Doris Day,etc....so I have a deep appreciation for them.
Anyways, I was bored and frustrated with al my music Friday and wanted a new Christmas album. So I went on itunes and looked through the "holiday" section (side note: X Christmas was #9 album :D ) and I found the Andrew Sisters Christmas Album....raised on them as well. Soooo I got it...was enjoying the classics and then the song "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"...and guess who was the guest vocalist?! Yup, Danny Kaye! LOVE IT...he is so goofy...I listened to it over and over and just smiled. I mean, I know not everyone will get it and think its fantastic, but it takes back. I sent it to my whole family to enjoy and they loved it. Just kinda made my day....just a simple little piece of goodness. :D
Anyways, there it is...and if you ever come across anything Danny Kaye please let me know....ESPECIALLY the movie "On The Riviera"....I cant find it anywhere :(
ok, back to drowning myself in work....hiding away in bauhaus with jess.
Anyways, I was bored and frustrated with al my music Friday and wanted a new Christmas album. So I went on itunes and looked through the "holiday" section (side note: X Christmas was #9 album :D ) and I found the Andrew Sisters Christmas Album....raised on them as well. Soooo I got it...was enjoying the classics and then the song "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"...and guess who was the guest vocalist?! Yup, Danny Kaye! LOVE IT...he is so goofy...I listened to it over and over and just smiled. I mean, I know not everyone will get it and think its fantastic, but it takes back. I sent it to my whole family to enjoy and they loved it. Just kinda made my day....just a simple little piece of goodness. :D
Anyways, there it is...and if you ever come across anything Danny Kaye please let me know....ESPECIALLY the movie "On The Riviera"....I cant find it anywhere :(
ok, back to drowning myself in work....hiding away in bauhaus with jess.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
wittle allie
ok, I know this is silly, but if you could only see how cute my dog is in the morning. she sleeps on my bed...down at my feet. There are mornings when she looks at me getting up and is like, "oh yea, you go ahead....I'm fine right here." Then there are mornings when she eagerly wants to get me up, but she knows I wont be happy if she gets me up before I am ready.
Well, this morning...I just did not want to get up! My alarm went off so many times and I just kept hitting snooze. By the time it was 7:35am...Allie was just waiting...knowing that I should have been up an hour ago...I could tell she was watching me. So, I moved just a little and then turned on my side away from her. She made her cute little noise and then came over and pounced on me...but almost like a hug...it was so cute. I just sat that as said to her "5 more minutes allie"...so she just laid there on my shoulder...ish hugging me. After the 5 minutes and my alarm going off again...she made her lil noise again and pawed at me to get me up...which I did. Got up, let her outside....put my hair in a ponytail....threw on some clothes...jumped in the car (which I know, I know...I shouldn't do my makeup while I drive, but I did)...off to work I went.
14 hours later...worked at urban too...I am now sitting in my bed - ish working, talking to micah dean, and well...lots going on in this head of mine. ha
anyways, that was my cute morning story...
Well, this morning...I just did not want to get up! My alarm went off so many times and I just kept hitting snooze. By the time it was 7:35am...Allie was just waiting...knowing that I should have been up an hour ago...I could tell she was watching me. So, I moved just a little and then turned on my side away from her. She made her cute little noise and then came over and pounced on me...but almost like a hug...it was so cute. I just sat that as said to her "5 more minutes allie"...so she just laid there on my shoulder...ish hugging me. After the 5 minutes and my alarm going off again...she made her lil noise again and pawed at me to get me up...which I did. Got up, let her outside....put my hair in a ponytail....threw on some clothes...jumped in the car (which I know, I know...I shouldn't do my makeup while I drive, but I did)...off to work I went.
14 hours later...worked at urban too...I am now sitting in my bed - ish working, talking to micah dean, and well...lots going on in this head of mine. ha
anyways, that was my cute morning story...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
treasures found in a wallet
so the other day my grandma called...the one that I am not close to...my dad's mom. Don't get me wrong, I do indeed love her, but I do not always like her. Long story, but there is love...so we will bypass all the other garbage.
Anyways, I talked to her this last saturday and in the mix of our very random and sporadic topics...she brings up my grandpa Chuck (he has been dead now for 3 yrs...passed away from a very long and heart wrecking battle with cancer). In talking about him, she brought up how she went through his wallet after he passed. She said, "you know annie, he only had 3 pictures in his wallet. A small one of us (the family), one of his mother, and then one of you and him. You were the only one he had a picture of...you two together at your last birthday before he died."
After she said this I felt shocked, awed, and my eyes started to fill with tears. I replied to her, "Grandma, why are you just now telling me this?" She went on to say something, but because I was in shock I didn't even hear what she said. I quickly made up an excuse to get off the phone so I could let go of my emotions.
I got home and just sat in my car and cried. I loved my grandpa very much! In my dad's immediate family he was the only one that I was close with.
Side note...my dad came from a very rough upbringing. Without saying too much, expression of love or saying I love you was not normal in his family. Growing up, my grandpa was very rough on us....I knew he loved me because I was his granddaughter, but it was such a polar opposite relationship of that which I have/had with my other Grandpa.
As, I got older I kinda pulled away from my dad's family...I couldn't take the hurt they caused me...not my grandpa, but then again he never stood up for me...and I got tired of my parents getting upset for me...it just wasn't worth family gatherings with them anymore. After college, I decided that I would start coming around again...slowing entering that world again.
Six years ago, when Grandpa Chuck and Grandma Lou called family dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory down in Tacoma to tell us all the news of Grandpa having cancer...that it was aggressive and he was gonna give it a good fight...I think it clicked in him to be more open with his feelings.
I'll never forget the first intense surgery he had...I went to go see him in the room before surgery and he said to me, "Annie, I am gonna fight this...I wanna see my only granddaughter get married." As much as that was so sweet of him to say and I know he wanted that...I think that will forever haunt me. At least he got to see Josh get married, I guess...and he knew that Hallie was pregnant with Taylor.
Through his long fight with cancer and all the drugs and chemo he was on...it definitely messed with his temperment and personality. It gave it a long hard fight, but in the end...the day we had to go to my grandparents house and get my grandfather ready and carry him down the stairs...getting him all settled in the car for their trip up to Whisler...I knew when he looked out the window...all bundled up...and waving goodbye...that was the last time I saw him alive. My dad, mom, and I all stood there and just cried. 2 days later, we got the call that he was in a coma and they were taking him in an ambulance down to Tacoma General Hospital. When I went to go see him in that state (it was a medically induced coma...he was pretty sedated!) it kinda hurt my heart. We sat with him the whole day and into the night. Holding his hands, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. You could tell he was still feeling the pain.
Awhile ago, I got the nerves to finally ask my dad (he used to be a medic) if when grandpa was squeezing my hand off and on while we were there...if it was truly him doing it...or was he too sedated and just his body reacting...and I he said that it was him...he was sedated, but was definitely aware...and I wanted to believe that cause I would do the 3 squeezes to say I LOVE YOU....and he would give a long solid squeeze back. The next morning we got the call that he has died. When we went to go see him...it was kinda wacky...cause his face looked how it looked in pics back in the day when he was like 18! it was so weird.
Anyways, I write this long blog and put this out there because after 3+ yrs. I am finally dealing with his death...loosing two major people in my life so close...Cupie first (my cornerstone in a lot of ways)...then Grandpa Chuck...well, we all mourn in different ways...and sometimes I just saturate myself in work and other things and don't face the hurt and loss that is right in front of me.
Sooooo cheers to me...dealing with the loss and to getting that pic from my grandma that my grandpa had of he and I in his wallet.
Anyways, I talked to her this last saturday and in the mix of our very random and sporadic topics...she brings up my grandpa Chuck (he has been dead now for 3 yrs...passed away from a very long and heart wrecking battle with cancer). In talking about him, she brought up how she went through his wallet after he passed. She said, "you know annie, he only had 3 pictures in his wallet. A small one of us (the family), one of his mother, and then one of you and him. You were the only one he had a picture of...you two together at your last birthday before he died."
After she said this I felt shocked, awed, and my eyes started to fill with tears. I replied to her, "Grandma, why are you just now telling me this?" She went on to say something, but because I was in shock I didn't even hear what she said. I quickly made up an excuse to get off the phone so I could let go of my emotions.
I got home and just sat in my car and cried. I loved my grandpa very much! In my dad's immediate family he was the only one that I was close with.
Side note...my dad came from a very rough upbringing. Without saying too much, expression of love or saying I love you was not normal in his family. Growing up, my grandpa was very rough on us....I knew he loved me because I was his granddaughter, but it was such a polar opposite relationship of that which I have/had with my other Grandpa.
As, I got older I kinda pulled away from my dad's family...I couldn't take the hurt they caused me...not my grandpa, but then again he never stood up for me...and I got tired of my parents getting upset for me...it just wasn't worth family gatherings with them anymore. After college, I decided that I would start coming around again...slowing entering that world again.
Six years ago, when Grandpa Chuck and Grandma Lou called family dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory down in Tacoma to tell us all the news of Grandpa having cancer...that it was aggressive and he was gonna give it a good fight...I think it clicked in him to be more open with his feelings.
I'll never forget the first intense surgery he had...I went to go see him in the room before surgery and he said to me, "Annie, I am gonna fight this...I wanna see my only granddaughter get married." As much as that was so sweet of him to say and I know he wanted that...I think that will forever haunt me. At least he got to see Josh get married, I guess...and he knew that Hallie was pregnant with Taylor.
Through his long fight with cancer and all the drugs and chemo he was on...it definitely messed with his temperment and personality. It gave it a long hard fight, but in the end...the day we had to go to my grandparents house and get my grandfather ready and carry him down the stairs...getting him all settled in the car for their trip up to Whisler...I knew when he looked out the window...all bundled up...and waving goodbye...that was the last time I saw him alive. My dad, mom, and I all stood there and just cried. 2 days later, we got the call that he was in a coma and they were taking him in an ambulance down to Tacoma General Hospital. When I went to go see him in that state (it was a medically induced coma...he was pretty sedated!) it kinda hurt my heart. We sat with him the whole day and into the night. Holding his hands, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. You could tell he was still feeling the pain.
Awhile ago, I got the nerves to finally ask my dad (he used to be a medic) if when grandpa was squeezing my hand off and on while we were there...if it was truly him doing it...or was he too sedated and just his body reacting...and I he said that it was him...he was sedated, but was definitely aware...and I wanted to believe that cause I would do the 3 squeezes to say I LOVE YOU....and he would give a long solid squeeze back. The next morning we got the call that he has died. When we went to go see him...it was kinda wacky...cause his face looked how it looked in pics back in the day when he was like 18! it was so weird.
Anyways, I write this long blog and put this out there because after 3+ yrs. I am finally dealing with his death...loosing two major people in my life so close...Cupie first (my cornerstone in a lot of ways)...then Grandpa Chuck...well, we all mourn in different ways...and sometimes I just saturate myself in work and other things and don't face the hurt and loss that is right in front of me.
Sooooo cheers to me...dealing with the loss and to getting that pic from my grandma that my grandpa had of he and I in his wallet.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Commercial That Made Me Cry?!
yesss, I cried at a commercial! I admit it. It happened!
Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yErjhWw9jgs
I realize some may be like, "What the heck are you crying about...it's a stinkin' JIF commercial". ha
Well, as most of you know or don't know..my real name is JoAnna. It's true. Close your mouth a breath! I know its a shock. Feelings of betrayal as I hide my true identity. haha.
Anyways, I think more and more as I deal with my Grandpa's death...feelings of loneliness and the desire for someone to really understand me become more and more clear. It's hard when you grow up your whole life having someone who gets you to your core. It's rare! And I truly know what a blessing it is...was. As I get older and its been 3 years now, all I want is that back! The look, the hand, the breaking me down, the push to cry, the understanding of the balance, the desire to be and do so much more, the sharing of something so deep...someone getting it when my words are all jumbled. I just want it back
Traveling is such a mix of love and hate. Love because I love seeing new things and exploring. Hate because my first flight was with my grandpa and whenever I was on a trip I would call him and share my experience or the history I was immersed in.
I feel like I usually only blog when I miss him more than ever. And today is one of those days.
I had a dream the other night (i don't dream that often) about him. And I just woke up crying because I couldn't get to him...I couldn't hug him...I couldn't fall in his arms and just cry and him tell me it is ok to have a weak moment and not have to be strong for so many.
Recently, I just have been dealing with a ton...actually facing the things I have pushed off cause I wasn't sure how to handle them, dealing with hurt and the feeling of being used by others, having people in my life I trust make me want to back away and guard myself, the desire to be known...not for what I do or who I know...but for me.
*boys who read this...no, it is not the time of the month...haha. It's me letting down...having an hour breakdown..if you will. Yes, an hour! Why the time limit...well, cause I don't have time to be like this.
Anyways, I just could use a conversation with my "Cupie"...just a hug...him to hold my hand...to let me cry on his shoulder...and then his talk to get me through it all...get up and be the person I know I am...for him to call me on my crap...and to get back in the game.
there it is...my first blog in a few months...and I just got my much needed cry out. sorry for the garbbled thoughts and emotions...and END SCENE! haha
Cheers to that. hahaha
*If I am MIA...please understand that I have to process some things that have happened recently and with that makes me pull in and guard myself. It's life...it happens...I will be up and going soon. I just need to "lick my wounds" and all will be fine. It's just at times like these that show me what I am missing so very much!
Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yErjhWw9jgs
I realize some may be like, "What the heck are you crying about...it's a stinkin' JIF commercial". ha
Well, as most of you know or don't know..my real name is JoAnna. It's true. Close your mouth a breath! I know its a shock. Feelings of betrayal as I hide my true identity. haha.
Anyways, I think more and more as I deal with my Grandpa's death...feelings of loneliness and the desire for someone to really understand me become more and more clear. It's hard when you grow up your whole life having someone who gets you to your core. It's rare! And I truly know what a blessing it is...was. As I get older and its been 3 years now, all I want is that back! The look, the hand, the breaking me down, the push to cry, the understanding of the balance, the desire to be and do so much more, the sharing of something so deep...someone getting it when my words are all jumbled. I just want it back
Traveling is such a mix of love and hate. Love because I love seeing new things and exploring. Hate because my first flight was with my grandpa and whenever I was on a trip I would call him and share my experience or the history I was immersed in.
I feel like I usually only blog when I miss him more than ever. And today is one of those days.
I had a dream the other night (i don't dream that often) about him. And I just woke up crying because I couldn't get to him...I couldn't hug him...I couldn't fall in his arms and just cry and him tell me it is ok to have a weak moment and not have to be strong for so many.
Recently, I just have been dealing with a ton...actually facing the things I have pushed off cause I wasn't sure how to handle them, dealing with hurt and the feeling of being used by others, having people in my life I trust make me want to back away and guard myself, the desire to be known...not for what I do or who I know...but for me.
*boys who read this...no, it is not the time of the month...haha. It's me letting down...having an hour breakdown..if you will. Yes, an hour! Why the time limit...well, cause I don't have time to be like this.
Anyways, I just could use a conversation with my "Cupie"...just a hug...him to hold my hand...to let me cry on his shoulder...and then his talk to get me through it all...get up and be the person I know I am...for him to call me on my crap...and to get back in the game.
there it is...my first blog in a few months...and I just got my much needed cry out. sorry for the garbbled thoughts and emotions...and END SCENE! haha
Cheers to that. hahaha
*If I am MIA...please understand that I have to process some things that have happened recently and with that makes me pull in and guard myself. It's life...it happens...I will be up and going soon. I just need to "lick my wounds" and all will be fine. It's just at times like these that show me what I am missing so very much!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Say What You Need To Say
sooo, this week has been a little rough going...maybe the past two weeks. I am sure some of you who I have seen this week would be shocked, but a few of you lucky ones I have vented to. hahaha
It's been rough in the essence that I am way over my quota for BS!! WAY OVER! I will admit...I am a bit wrapped around the axle. Stress I put on myself, but also just going nonstop in my professional life and personal. Maybe cause I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am just plowing through...who knows...
The other night while I was workin on some stuff, the new video by John Mayer came on for the song "Say." It was a pretty sad video. Anyways, last night I got off work at the Urban...came home....did a little more work and then decided to call it a night a bit early. Admittedly a little bummed.
Sitting in bed...grab my Bible...read a bit...listen to music while doing two soduko games...and then I look over at a picture I have by my bed...and just BURST into tears! The picture of my sweet grammers and Cupie. Not a day goes by I don't miss my grandpa dearly...I will probably never get over losing him...he meant way to much in my world and knew me almost better than I know myself.
It then hit me that my brother is turning 30...30!!! So weird! It would have also been my Grandpa Chuck's 80th birthday...thus making me miss him so much since he was the only one I was close to on my father's side. Yep, the crying doesn't stop there...my sweet friend Liz died a year ago tomorrow. She was on her saturday run...training for a marathon when a car got blinded by the sun...struck a pole...killing sweet Liz instantly.
If I just bummed you out with this blog...that was not my intent. Death happens...its life...doesn't mean its easy...doesn't mean you will be over it. I'll be honest...I have lost a ton of people in my life...some are still such unreal losses...I almost can't fathom them if I think about it.
All this to say...even as CHEESY as this is "say what you need to say"...whatever that is...life is so short...you never know what is around the corner. With that being said...I truly do LOVE you all...truly...life is busy, but that doesn't mean that I don't care or are too busy for you. If you get that impression...tell me...I LOVE HONESTY...huge fan of it...if ya didn't know ;)
I am so excited to leave Sunday for Nashville to see SOOOO many of my dearest friends, and then onto San Diego to see SOO many more of my favs! I LOVE YOU ALL and am blessed to have you all in my life!
xoxo,
Annie
It's been rough in the essence that I am way over my quota for BS!! WAY OVER! I will admit...I am a bit wrapped around the axle. Stress I put on myself, but also just going nonstop in my professional life and personal. Maybe cause I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am just plowing through...who knows...
The other night while I was workin on some stuff, the new video by John Mayer came on for the song "Say." It was a pretty sad video. Anyways, last night I got off work at the Urban...came home....did a little more work and then decided to call it a night a bit early. Admittedly a little bummed.
Sitting in bed...grab my Bible...read a bit...listen to music while doing two soduko games...and then I look over at a picture I have by my bed...and just BURST into tears! The picture of my sweet grammers and Cupie. Not a day goes by I don't miss my grandpa dearly...I will probably never get over losing him...he meant way to much in my world and knew me almost better than I know myself.
It then hit me that my brother is turning 30...30!!! So weird! It would have also been my Grandpa Chuck's 80th birthday...thus making me miss him so much since he was the only one I was close to on my father's side. Yep, the crying doesn't stop there...my sweet friend Liz died a year ago tomorrow. She was on her saturday run...training for a marathon when a car got blinded by the sun...struck a pole...killing sweet Liz instantly.
If I just bummed you out with this blog...that was not my intent. Death happens...its life...doesn't mean its easy...doesn't mean you will be over it. I'll be honest...I have lost a ton of people in my life...some are still such unreal losses...I almost can't fathom them if I think about it.
All this to say...even as CHEESY as this is "say what you need to say"...whatever that is...life is so short...you never know what is around the corner. With that being said...I truly do LOVE you all...truly...life is busy, but that doesn't mean that I don't care or are too busy for you. If you get that impression...tell me...I LOVE HONESTY...huge fan of it...if ya didn't know ;)
I am so excited to leave Sunday for Nashville to see SOOOO many of my dearest friends, and then onto San Diego to see SOO many more of my favs! I LOVE YOU ALL and am blessed to have you all in my life!
xoxo,
Annie
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Breakdown
Soooo, I re-start this thing...and then flake...ooppps! :)
My mind is kinda all over the place.
I guess I can start with a funny! My lil niece Taylor was with my sis-in-law (her mom) in the car in front of Starbucks while my mom was getting coffee. Taylor looks outside and says, "Look Mommy! It's Jesus! Hi Jesus! Hiiiiiiieeee!" Taylor was pointing at a man outside of the starbucks..standing by his motorcycle...cigarette in one hand...and coffee in another. My Mom and Sis think that the only reason Tay thought he was Jesus was because he had long hair and a beard. Regardless, that is pretty stinkin funny! haha
Life has been aight...I've been sick! And if you know me...I am not good at being sick or slowing down, but I am trying to lay low...so I can get my life back to 100% GAHHHHH!
32 days until I get to start traveling again and I cannot be more giddy! Soooo sooo soo many people I am DYING to see! April 20-24 = Nashville...April 24-28 = San Diego...AND April 28-May 4 = HAWAII! So pumped! Sun, dresses, swimming, beach...I mean the list goes on :)
Other then that....my thoughts are kinda all over the charts...so until I can funnel them into words...you are gonna have to be put on HOLD! :)
mad love to you all
My mind is kinda all over the place.
I guess I can start with a funny! My lil niece Taylor was with my sis-in-law (her mom) in the car in front of Starbucks while my mom was getting coffee. Taylor looks outside and says, "Look Mommy! It's Jesus! Hi Jesus! Hiiiiiiieeee!" Taylor was pointing at a man outside of the starbucks..standing by his motorcycle...cigarette in one hand...and coffee in another. My Mom and Sis think that the only reason Tay thought he was Jesus was because he had long hair and a beard. Regardless, that is pretty stinkin funny! haha
Life has been aight...I've been sick! And if you know me...I am not good at being sick or slowing down, but I am trying to lay low...so I can get my life back to 100% GAHHHHH!
32 days until I get to start traveling again and I cannot be more giddy! Soooo sooo soo many people I am DYING to see! April 20-24 = Nashville...April 24-28 = San Diego...AND April 28-May 4 = HAWAII! So pumped! Sun, dresses, swimming, beach...I mean the list goes on :)
Other then that....my thoughts are kinda all over the charts...so until I can funnel them into words...you are gonna have to be put on HOLD! :)
mad love to you all
Sunday, March 2, 2008
New Tattoo
Yes, yes it's true! I just got my second tattoo! :) As you know...I am not one to just get a piercing or tattoo that I haven't thought about for a very long time. ha
Here is the sketch of the tattoo that my bestie Scott Erickson drew up for me:
Here is the meaning behind this... So why the Africa?
I worked at World Vision for 3 yrs. and had the priviledge to work and be main support on a program called One Life Revolution in which we raised funds/tangeable assets that AIDS orphans and communities needed. Some of these items were blankets, chickens, cows, education, a home, a schoolhouse...and the list goes on.
Why the heart?
Africa....AIDS orphans and affected communities...child soldiers...the genocide...all this has got a grip on my heart! It is one of my passions in life to continue to support, raise awareness and be an advocate for what is taking place over there.
Why the negative sign inside the heart?
The last yr. of OLR came the OLE - One Life Experience which you were able to walk through 4 different lives that were impacted from the AIDS epidemic. In a section of the life you were walking through...you came to the "clinic." Inside the clinic, you would have to walk up to the window and someone would put a stamp on you that would tell you if you had AIDS (+) or if you did not (-). Thus the negative sign inside the heart...no more AIDS.
I could write youa blog of statistics and facts and numbers of how many are dead and have died...will die tomorrow. But I will let you know this...whole generations are gone. It's children raising children...trying to to survive. Most of the work I did supported Zambia (mainly) and Uganda.
What's up with the birds?
The birds I got from Scott. He has them on his arm...and they are a symbol of the holy spirit.
There is also significance in Scott drawing this out for me. Scott has been one of my best friends for like the past 3 years. We met when I was at World vision. He came in with a friend to paint while his friend did live music. It was a great experience and something I thought we could use to reach to public. So he did a lot of paintings for World Vision...went on a trip with us to Atlanta and he did a silent action to raise money for OLR at the YS Convention. So, it was just natural to have him sketch it and to encompass a great part of my life and something that I will forever be apart of. And since One Life is no more...it is bitter sweet. But there are so many other programs and companies to be apart of - Invisible Children, World Vision, Compassion, there is a great group of people in San Diego that are taking on OLR in a smaller way...but they are carrying on the great work that was started.
So there ya go...and here is the finished product: (PS..it really didnt hurt at all)
*It will look way better after it heals...but I kinda LOVE IT! :)
PS...yesterday right before I was getting this...my mom called and told me that she and my dad are now sponsoring 3 Ugandan children who have been affected by the LRA (the crazy people that steal children and make them child soldiers...). I love how my whole family is involved in doing something to help!
Here is the sketch of the tattoo that my bestie Scott Erickson drew up for me:
Here is the meaning behind this... So why the Africa?
I worked at World Vision for 3 yrs. and had the priviledge to work and be main support on a program called One Life Revolution in which we raised funds/tangeable assets that AIDS orphans and communities needed. Some of these items were blankets, chickens, cows, education, a home, a schoolhouse...and the list goes on.
Why the heart?
Africa....AIDS orphans and affected communities...child soldiers...the genocide...all this has got a grip on my heart! It is one of my passions in life to continue to support, raise awareness and be an advocate for what is taking place over there.
Why the negative sign inside the heart?
The last yr. of OLR came the OLE - One Life Experience which you were able to walk through 4 different lives that were impacted from the AIDS epidemic. In a section of the life you were walking through...you came to the "clinic." Inside the clinic, you would have to walk up to the window and someone would put a stamp on you that would tell you if you had AIDS (+) or if you did not (-). Thus the negative sign inside the heart...no more AIDS.
I could write youa blog of statistics and facts and numbers of how many are dead and have died...will die tomorrow. But I will let you know this...whole generations are gone. It's children raising children...trying to to survive. Most of the work I did supported Zambia (mainly) and Uganda.
What's up with the birds?
The birds I got from Scott. He has them on his arm...and they are a symbol of the holy spirit.
There is also significance in Scott drawing this out for me. Scott has been one of my best friends for like the past 3 years. We met when I was at World vision. He came in with a friend to paint while his friend did live music. It was a great experience and something I thought we could use to reach to public. So he did a lot of paintings for World Vision...went on a trip with us to Atlanta and he did a silent action to raise money for OLR at the YS Convention. So, it was just natural to have him sketch it and to encompass a great part of my life and something that I will forever be apart of. And since One Life is no more...it is bitter sweet. But there are so many other programs and companies to be apart of - Invisible Children, World Vision, Compassion, there is a great group of people in San Diego that are taking on OLR in a smaller way...but they are carrying on the great work that was started.
So there ya go...and here is the finished product: (PS..it really didnt hurt at all)
*It will look way better after it heals...but I kinda LOVE IT! :)
PS...yesterday right before I was getting this...my mom called and told me that she and my dad are now sponsoring 3 Ugandan children who have been affected by the LRA (the crazy people that steal children and make them child soldiers...). I love how my whole family is involved in doing something to help!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Heart Condition
I have toiled with a few topics to write about, but this week has been absolutely insane...work work work. As you can tell I am taking a break :) Among the topics of consideration for this blog are as follows: family funnies, gym: daily entertainment, the gift of friends, church and relevancy, but the "Heart Condition" won. Why? You will understand after reading. It's a topic that I feel continually comes up...and I am gonna throw my 2 cents in on all this...
Ready? And GO
When I say "heart condition"...it is in reference to your heart and the way you love and treat others. Not to give myself props or that I am amazing (even though I kinda am. ah hahaha), but I love people. Don't get me wrong...its not all roses and lollipops, but I honestly love people and want to love on them. Let them understand that I care and no matter what will be there for them. It is true that my life is pretty crazy busy, but if you know me...which ya'll do for the most part. You know that I am genuine. I am open and honest. I believe in being an open book. You ask me a question...I will give you an honest answer (yea yea...I have told a few lies...I am not an angel...contrary to belief. ha), but you get what I am saying. I try to honor ones heart and where they are at in life...even if that means putting my feelings aside. Just ask Jess! She calls me the honorary Korean. haha. I also tend to fully trust people. You pretty much have my full trust, until there is reason the trust is broken. Also, I am not one to give out false compliments or just say something I don't mean. My mom used to say, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say." I try to live by that the best I can. Finally, I am not afraid to say I am wrong and to apologize. Don't worry...I am not one that always has to be right ;)
Obviously all that I have said and explained about myself...sets me up for hurt. TRUST ME....I KNOW! :) And yes, I have been very angry at God that I am made that way...cause I don't want to be someone that people walk on. In reality, I know I am not. And at times, as evil as this sounds...I wish I could stay angry at people or and just be "bitchy", but that is way too much effort. In all honesty, how do those girls act like that day in and day out!! You know that ones I am talking about. "bitchy" chicks who have no qualm about treating people like shite. How so they live...that has to be exhausting...not to mention they prob don't have a ton of people that actually want to be around them. (of course I am not a fan of all...I think my dislike list is up to 8 people). If you piss me off...give me sometime at the gym...or give me some time to process...and things will be back to peachy keen.
I digress a bit...
Recently I am shocked at how people CHEAPEN others! You can take that a lot of ways...and to be honest...that is a FULLY loaded statement. Saying things to people that you don't mean just to keep them around, using people for your own benefit, manipulating others to get what you want, making one have feelings for you when there are more then two people involved (yes yes...this is directed at relationships). I mean, we are all in the industry (a lot of us are) and we are all pretty much connected and know what is going on.
Life isn't easy. There is so much drama going on already. Why add to it? Why not treat people the way you desire. Love them whole heartedly. Guard their hearts. Don't cheapen what could be so much more. Don't use people because you can. Don't always be the "talker" and not the "listener." Cherish the time you have with people...
This blog stems from personal stuff and from convo's with others...and has been on my mind. Hopefully it all made sense...since this is like word vomit. hahah. ewwww :) All this to say....LOVE one another...TRULY...honor each other...DO NOT CHEAPEN someone. Have a heart and love with it!
Now, back to more work for me....yay for another late night :)
love you all and hope to see ya soon
PS...CANT WAIT FOR APRIL 20-28 - Nashville & San Diego here I come...I AM GIDDY! Miss and LOVE you all...such an overdue trip!!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Cheers To The beginning...
Ha...well not really the beginning as I have had this for well over a year...but it's public now...thus it's the beginning! :P
So, here is the kick off:
Jessica and I are video chatting, yet we aren't really talking...we are working...reading emails...singing...she was watching the muppet babies...but we are just two friends that haven't seen each other in a few days...and well we miss each other. PLUS we are just FUNNY! haha
I should be working, but instead I wanted to get this thing up and catch up with the peeps...chattin' with my buddies Zaine, Zach, & Chris. Watching Youtube videos that Zaine sent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MccmHwA-c4U and then checking out a band that Zach was quoting lyrics from: http://youtube.com/watch?v=6kJD2N2gvqw
Anyways...here is my formal HELLO!! and WELCOME INTO THE THOUGHTS OF ANNIE...hope you come back and ready what goes on in my wacky lil head and world. Gotta love it!
So, here is the kick off:
Jessica and I are video chatting, yet we aren't really talking...we are working...reading emails...singing...she was watching the muppet babies...but we are just two friends that haven't seen each other in a few days...and well we miss each other. PLUS we are just FUNNY! haha
I should be working, but instead I wanted to get this thing up and catch up with the peeps...chattin' with my buddies Zaine, Zach, & Chris. Watching Youtube videos that Zaine sent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MccmHwA-c4U and then checking out a band that Zach was quoting lyrics from: http://youtube.com/watch?v=6kJD2N2gvqw
Anyways...here is my formal HELLO!! and WELCOME INTO THE THOUGHTS OF ANNIE...hope you come back and ready what goes on in my wacky lil head and world. Gotta love it!
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