Hidden Messages?!

So the other night I was enjoying a night in watching Holiday movie after movie. Around 12:30ish I decided it was time to retire to my bed and then perhaps watch an episode of Friday Night Lights (6 episodes left and this amazing story is over. sad day in Annieland!). While getting set for bed I really felt like I was supposed to finish the chapter I had started in "Hind's Feet on High Places" before I went to bed. I had a conversation in my head that went something like this:

"Lord, is that you?"
"is this just me cause I really just want to watch FNL before I crash"
*gut feeling still there*
"Ok God, not really sure what is so important that I can't shake this, but I'll wrap up the chapter"

*grumbling that I just wanted to watch FNL knowing full well that after I read what I am supposed to will then be followed by prayer time.*


OK so now go back with me to the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011...I was working through some tough stuff and just really leaning into the Lord. During that time and through the course of this year I keep hearing the Lord say "watch what I am going to do!" when I get frustrated at Him and don't get what in the world He is up to. Feeling like I was suppose to open my heart back up to a situation that ended up just hurting me again, knowing that I was supposed to let go of my job, etc. Through this year of letting go of a lot and taking new things on...when I am in question of what the Lord is doing...I simply hear the quiet "watch what I am going to do!" *ummm, ready and waiting :)*

Fast forward back to the other night...and this is what I read:



I am getting ready for something new and I am beyond ready to see what the Lord is going to do and how He will use me. It's been a rough, but amazing past few months...and I am leaning on who I should be leaning on...the Lord. There is a reason I have this scripture reference tattooed on my foot: Proverbs 3:5-6

That shared, what has the Lord been speaking to you? What is He asking you to do? Maybe to let go of something? Maybe to do something new and push through the box you have put yourself and Him in?









sidenote: I am trying to go to Africa with my church in April...if you would like to support me (tax write-off *hint*hint*)...that would be amazing! Info here: http://www.gofundme.com/Send-Annie-To-Africa

Sweet Christmas Eve

I couldn't help but wake up this morning with the excitement I've had about Christmas Eve since...well, as far back as I can remember. All growing up Christmas Eve was by far my most FAVORITE day ever!!

I'll set the stage for why...

The earliest memory begins when I was tiny. Driving to my Grandparents house in West Seattle which sat on a hill that overlooked the Puget Sound. (If I ever get rich - I will buy back the house my Grandpa Roger "Cupie" built. Absolutely amazing!! Cedar, stain glass window from England, little cubbies throughout, the west side of the house practically all windows to be able to stare out the window and enjoy the view of the water....). My mom's whole side of the family would gather - 3 sisters with families - great grandma's - and occasionally my dad's side of the family (that was once or twice...we learned that was not a good idea ;) ha). We would eat amazing food!! Sometimes Grammers would have the energy to cook for us all and other times she would take the catering way out. But we could always count on Great Grandma Down's fabulous Pecan pies (southern made) and Grammers and Mom's pumkpin goodness...oh and Great Grandma Down's chocolate goo (it was a fudge she messes up years ago that turned out to be our favorite baking mistake of hers).

Traditions were started....and these above all I've missed the past 7 years, but cherish every memory of having.

Grandpa Roger "Cupie" would read the Christmas story to us all. He would then have all the grandchildren (8 of us total) read the scriptures that he had assigned weeks prior for us to memorize and share with the family. We would then get out these Christmas songbooks that the community of West Seattle put out about 30+ years ago (I have them now - some got damaged in the flood, but most survived - Thank God) and we would go through and sing all the songs. Not to brag, but I come from a family that has some pretty legit and classically trained voices. (sidenote: my brother and I used to "fight" to see who got to sit in between Grammers and Cupie at church. To hear them sing their parts in Hymns was such a treat and gift. Sometimes, on certain songs, I can actually hear them singing. Sweet memories). My favorite song to sing as a family in which everyone had parts was The 12 Days Of Christmas. Cupie always had "5 Golden Rings"...and the way he would sing it...well, again...I can hear him every time the song is sung. My Aunt Debbie would always be the one to add in a funny line or noise to make in that song. She was always the one who would also wear blinking Christmas light earrings and one time she busted out silver glitter leggings. haha. She def is a fun one.

Oh gosh....I could go on forever about the memories of Christmas Eve and how much I cherished them. I will always miss Cupie reading the Christmas story....all of us grandchildren quoting our scriptures, and Grandma getting on the piano and playing so we could all sing Christmas carols together. I feel very blessed and pray when I have kids someday that they will love the traditions and memories that we create...

What are some of your favorite Christmas memories/traditions?


Merry Christmas Eve to all! Praying you all have an amazing day with friends and family....celebrating the real reason for this Christmas Season. Excited to be with my Church family today and framily this Christmas. fun times to be had!! :)

Shoutout to my family in Seattle and praying over my brother as he leads Christmas Eve service at his church tonight...loved attending that last year and so incredibly proud of the man of God he is. Blessed with such an incredible family and thankful for Skype this Christmas :) xoxo

A quiet walk on the beach....

I have been writing this, saving it, then thinking about if it needs to be posted...the only hesitation I have is that I DO NOT want it misinterpreted...this in fact is not aimed at anyone...just more of an explanation of where I am in life right now...and in sharing with quite a few people about my social sabbatical and how FREEING it is...I'm spurred to share what I've been doing and what I've been learning.

A few months ago I went to Catalyst in Atlanta which in essence started the season of change. Well, that and a message by Pete Wilson and the theme was "be still"...which if you know me...I am NOT good at laying low and/or being still. I like to go go go...and do do do.

A couple weeks after Catalyst I felt like I needed to do a social sabbatical...yes you read right...a social sabbatical...I know what you are thinking...trust me! ;) BUT I knew I was supposed to...so I pretty much cut out all hanging out with friends except church/youth kids, etc. Which in all honesty, especially with my new comfy pad, was not so hard to do and was so what the Dr. ordered. Believe me, if you are feeling overwhelmed and not like yourself...and you are highly social like me...TAKE A BREAK!!! If friends don't get it...then maybe you need to re-evaluate friendships ;)

**after getting laid-off a few weeks ago I've slowly and still slowly am bringing friends/people back into my life - not to be mean, but I saw some changes in me and I want to make sure I am who I am meant to be - in character & action - I want to be real and raw and have healthy boundaries in friendships and how they affect me**

While walking Folly Beach in Charleston on Thanksgiving (I had my parents walk behind me so they could be all cutesy cutesy with each other) I was praying...trying to understand timing of ALL that was going on the past few months and what I heard and have kept hearing are two things: 1. I am delivering you from all abusive circumstances/relationships (this meaning work, friendships, etc.) 2. watch what I'm (being God) gonna do.

I think the word abusive seems and feels very harsh to say, but I guess other word(s) that could be used are selfish, taken advantage of, and well...used. I think you get my drift here...and please know I am not saying these actions are done on purpose, but sometimes people do it without realizing or this is who they are in nature. And it's true...I have been in a place of that for most of my life (this is not to get anyone's pity WHATSOEVER) I am simply made with a huge heart and the only way I know how to love, work, and play is with all of me and giving more than 100%...(I blame my parents for my overworking reasoning)...which in essence means that without having healthy boundaries...one gets hurt a lot and walked on. Things the Lord is teaching me...in SO MANY WAYS! Another season of refinement, but to a whole new level...which is hard, but with an understanding knowledge that this is so good for me...and an odd underlining joy.

I told this to my good friend Linsey last night...and she just burst into tears. We've been friends for 6 years...and she was so thankful that I am finally seeing how I love so well, but set myself up for hurt and being walked on. Now there are things I am able to stand strong in, but when you get to a certain place in my life...I love and give grace freely when I should instead be strong and stand up for myself.

so much going on in my world...not easy, but so good...some to share and some not. Learning healthy boundaries in loving with all my heart in work, friendships, etc.

I do apologize in the past few weeks if I have hurt anyone's feelings. I acknowledge that when I'm going through a lot I tend to shutdown. I'm trying to take seriously what lessons He is trying to teach me and I wanna make sure to listen & obey. I do not know what is next in my life, but I am excited. It's been such an interesting season of life and God has been so faithful. I am choosing joy and trusting...and um hello, it's Christmas season...and I LOVE me some Christmas goodness!

love you all and I hope you heard my heart in this...I encourage you all to do a social sabbatical. I may do it annually now :)