Farewell letter to Grammers

Dear Grandma Jane - my Grammers

I didn't know where to go to write you a farewell letter. I couldn't go to Alki beach...where ideally I wouldve gone. Surrounded by some of my most favorite memories growing up...and of course you are in them.  Since Alki was not an option, I chose to go to the only place we have been together in the south...as morbid yet poetic as it may be...I went to Jasper, AL to your parents graves. So here it goes...

Grammers, you were more than just a grandma...you were like a second mom. You (and grandpa) were so instrumental in my life. As far back as my memories take me. Which I think we decided rides on the age of 2.  We had a bond like none other. 

I loved knowing that I could always wake up at your house and know that you were already up having your time with God and praying for your family. I loved that example you set. Diligently pouring through scripture. 

I loved watching you play the piano. I could've watched you forever!! And your voice....you know that when we all went to West Side Presybertian Josh and I would fight to sit in between you and Grandpa. Loved how your voices complimented each other and how you both took your ranges in the classic hymns...in which I still hear your voices when they are sung. Which then leads me into the sweet memories I absolutely cherish from our Christmas Eve celebrations. I looked forward to that day every year. Grandpa assigned all of us scriptures, he read the Christmas story and you led us in singing from those little magazine song books. I especially loved when we sang the 12 Days of Christmas and O Holy Night. Favorite. 

I loved the water fights, your pet spiders, your love for gardening and letting us purge it of the mini strawberries, your amazing cooking (my mouth waters just thinking about it), your heart shaped bees that you would draw on our cards, your love for classical music which trickled down into my study life...ok ok I really do love classical music, and how you called me Annie JoJo

I loved spending Sundays with you and grandpa. I cherished our talks about life and God. Sitting there just holding hands...drinking a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. I never doubted your love for me and made sure you always knew how much I loved you. I hate that we didn't go as planned...the rapture. ;)  And it breaks my heart a bit that when the day comes for me to marry - you and grandpa won't be behind me to assist mom and dad in giving me away - like we had talked about.  But I know you will be watching. 

I love you beyond words Grammers and as selfish as I wanted to be to keep you around - I know it was time - and I can only imagine  the greeting you got when you entered the pearly gates...seeing our savior face to face and reunited with Grandpa and so many others. 

So in closing...I'll end this the way we ended every phone call and visit and I'll win saying it first for the last time...

I love you infinity times infinity times. Take good care of my Grammers. 

Healthy Recipe Goodness

it all starts in the kitchen w/ a cute apron

So in my new "hobby" of learning more about nutrition, organic foods, and how it all effects your body...as well as what foods digest properly for different folks (yes, I am needing out a bit...fascinating)...I have found recipes and then played with them to make them my own. :)

Let's start with the kale salad. I was first sucked into kale salad's when I had the one at Tavern (restaurant here in Nashville - midtown district)....so yummy. The basic ingredients in that one is:

Kale
Pine nuts
EVOO
Lemon juice
Currents
Parmesan cheese (a lot)


As much as I like this salad there...I needed to find an alternative for having it often. My body is not the biggest fan of dairy...so I played around to find something even yummier and healthier. So here is how I make kale salad - no need to soak the kale in EVOO...up the lemon juice a bit more instead:

Kale (food processor chop style)
Pine nuts
Cranberries
EVOO
Lemon juice
Crumbled goat cheese
Basil


Here is the recipe I use for sweet potato fries...I use EVOO instead Canola oil. These are so yummy! I may up the spicy kick a bit to mine ;)

Annnnddddd, here is the recipe I use for the Turkey Pumpkin White Bean Chili. With this recipe, I play with the spices A LOT! I add in a lot more chili powder, garlic powder, more oregano than it calls for...and the key added ingredient is: DILL SEED!!! It is what changes the ball game!

Lastly (for now), I love me some chia seeds...yum yum yum! Here is the recipe for chia seed pudding - kinda a tapioca consistency but much healthier for you!

1 cup - coconut/almond milk ( you can use just coconut or just almond - whateves)
1/4 cup of chia seeds
Agave - I just do a nice little squirt. (w/ coconut milk you don't really need the added sweetness)
Fruit - I use raspberries mainly - blueberries don't settle so well.


Yummy and healthy dessert!! Nomnomnom :)

Ohhhhh yesssss!! And if you are one that has a hard time getting all your fruits and veggies in daily. I've been doing Greens First in the morning and it is amazing. Boost of energy and getting in my essentials. And get this...it actually tastes great!! Got a couple co-workers and friends already on it. #highfives

Having all my grandparents dying from cancer and so many other friends and family battling some crazy health issues...I decided to do research and get more educated...treating my body right healthy, mind, and soul = working out, eating right, daily time w/ Jesus, and living life adventurously expectant...filled with loving on people and enjoying the simple things ;)

Boom...there's my thoughts this Friday am and some recipes for you health nuts to try!!

Droppin' A Note...

So most of you know, I am AWFUL at sending cards, gifts, anything I have to mail out...it just doesnt happen. If I'm sending something as a bday gift or just a gift it will most likely come from groupon, livingsocial, or whatever localized gifting network of screamin' deals is in your area.

Over the past few years I have tried the whole New Years Resolution thing..."This year I will write a card a week!". Let's be honest, in reality I was already defeated. I should've started with once a month or bi-monthly...that would be more realistic for my busy life. So time and time again I would say I'd be better...then crash and burn. Never making it happen.

Of course I would feel like a schmuck each time I would receive a card from a friend. Realizing they took time out of their lives to write me a note to say hi, share something, encourage and love on me, or whatnot. It's amazing how receiving a note in the mail just makes your day and gives you a break from the normal mail: bills, magazines, grocery junk ads, and other randomness that glogs up my little tin box.

So, I decided that the month of October I am REALLY going to do it! I am going to make a list. First, make a number of how many days there are in October and then start filling in friend's names that I wanted to write to. I also wanted it to be an intentional time to pray over each friend as I was writing them. Praying that God would use me to brighten their day, that He would give me the words to say (if needed), that it would arrive on a day that they needed a pick me up or just a BIG hug from me :)...wanting them to feel loved and know that someone is thinking and praying for them.

I can say that I successfully did it!! YES, I WIN here folks!!! :). I may not have done it every day, but I finished all my letters for the month and then some on October 31st. Dare I say, I will continue to do two a week for the rest of the year and then set a new goal!

More and more in life you realize how the "simple things" are what really matter...the thoughtfulness and how it impacts. I wanna live that way...to love, encourage, be a person where actions and words align, be a safe place for people to lean on, and of course live life adventurously expectant (yea, it's my personal tagline).

Don't worry...if you haven't received a card yet...I've only started scratching the service of my list ;)

The purpose of sharing this is not to pin a rose on my nose, but more to challenge you to show the ones you love that you care...just as I have been inspired/challenged by many of my friends who've done that for me!

Mad love & hugs
Annie

Birth Day

A friend during birthday fun asked me if there was any good story to my birth... After I told her she was like you should probably share that. So, here I am writing it down.

One night when my parents Steve and Beckie were.....(I keep I keed) Speed up a few months to where my mom (lovingly refered to as "midge") was at a Dr's appt about her pregnancy and was told there was a red flag on the play. They told her that the chances of this child coming out normal were slim to none (here's where you make the cracks about me not being normal...let it out...haha). The Dr. actually advised my mom to abort me. That the risk of me being deaf, blind, have deformations were too high and the risk of this pregnancy on my little mom was high.

My mom and dad decided to just take it to God and start praying for wisdom and that He would heal their baby (me). In one of my mom's prayer times, the Lord gave my mom the verse Proverbs 3:5-6 (now you know why it's my life's verse & why it's tattooed on my foot).


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight

My mom knew that this was for her and for me. That day she went out and bought a cross-stitch pattern and started cross-stitching that verse in prep for when I came.

The day came early and my poor little midge was getting ready to have the c-section to get me out. They got me out and my dad had me in his hands getting me into the little incubator and getting me breathing (my dad was a medic in the AF) when all of a sudden my mom flat-lined. My dad made sure I was good for the time being and ran over to my mom and well brought her back. Pretty much he is BA and saved both his girls lives that day.

After all settled, I was moved to another hospital where they could handle my situation better - apparently off the base. My next 3 months were in a incubator where I was only poked and prodded with needles and studied. I had a huge hemangioma on the left side of my head. They wanted to operate but were unsure if part of my brain was in there. And yes, there was a picture of me in the Minot newspaper which my parents have. I also had a huge birthmark on my face. I was a mess facial/head wise.

That being said, obviously my parents held onto the scripture (Prov. 3:5-6) and continuously prayed about my condition. Long short of it all....the hemangioma is gone (granted when the weather changes to cold or I wear a ponytail for too long - my left side of my head gets pretty tender - kinda wacky but that's it) and the huge birthmarks on my face are gone. All in all I am A-okay! ;)

There you have it...the miracle of my birth and when Proverbs 3:5-6 became a scripture I held onto as a "life verse" - literally.

Quality vs. Quantity

Today during worship at church, I was hit with the thought that even though I spend time with God daily....it has not been quality time. So instead of going to one of my favorite places in TN (Rock Island) with a bunch of friends...I opted to stay home and take some time out, slow it down, breathe, pray, have my own personal worship time, and read. It was just what was needed.

There is such a difference between "putting" in our time with God and spending QUALITY time with Him. I didn't realize til today that I was in the "putting" in my time zone. No Bueno - thus I had to change that up.

It's amazing how you sometimes switch zones and you don't even realize it. I think I realized it a bit the other day...when I had to check myself (check yo self before you wreck yo self) on my attitude and how I was letting insecurities and some other things come in and effect me and how I was coming across.

I love the saying above and I think it is a great reminder and reality check to us: "How you spend your days is how you spend your life." - Annie Dillard. This obviously applies to every area of our lives and how we live it. Let it be a challenge to you in this upcoming week and so on...as I am definitely going to let it resonate in mine.

My thoughts for the night and my break from writing some marketing plans ;)

Keep it real and keep it classy,

Annie

Come Full Circle

I just LOVE this pic

I know, I know...I owe you all a blog or 4 on my trip to Africa- I PROMISE it's coming. First, I wanted to talk about the "full circles" that kicked off in November and which I feel has set a tone for more of these instances to happen. Dare I say it...God's perfect timing

As you all know in November I got laid off from Tooth & Nail Records...it was an almost 6 year ride and I enjoyed most of it :). The funny thing about this (which in essence kicked things off), the office that I was occupying in the EMI building was in fact the same office that I interviewed in a little over 6 years prior. I met Mark Adkison at a festival in WA through my friend Emily Gary...we hit it off and he offered me a job in Nashville. When I went to visit Nashville & Emily a month or so later...I felt like Nashville was going to be home at some point. Through a course of events & my brother getting malenoma I decided now was not the time to move away. Through another course of events and my friend Dane Wirsing introduced me to Tyson Paoletti from T&N who a couple weeks later became my boss and friend. 3+ yrs ago I moved to Nashville for the label...and my second move in the EMI building ended up being the office where I had my first interview to get into the music industry. I chuckled when I got the call from Tyson that day because in essence my career in the music label side of the house started and ended on the same place. Full Circle.

Then go back to I think the end of summer, I was at youth group talking with my small group of girls when they started talking about their trip to Kenya coming up in April. I loved their excitement and their heart for it. (long story short - I worked at World Vision for 3.5 years on a program that focused on AIDS orphans in Africa - I never was able to go on a trip to Africa, but since that time I have been dying to go - not feeling the "clearance" to go yet when other opportunities arose)so when the girls were like "Annie, you should go!!" I kinda chuckled it off thinking its probably still not time...inside kind of shaking my fist at God telling Him it wasn't fair...even my brother has gotten to go to Africa. A few days later (if I recall right), I saw one of my youth gal's mom and she had told me that her daughter told her about my interest and that I am supposed to go. I was like...wait, God....wait...is it FINALLY TIME?! Is it FINALLY time that I get to go?!?! I prayed for a couple weeks and I felt at peace about it and then started the fundraising. I am beyond thankful and grateful for all the LOVE and Support that I got from so many and I know that a lot of you who have known me for years were almost as giddy about this dream coming true as I was. This dream to go to Africa started almost 10 yrs ago and I FINALLY got to go last month. Full Cirlce.

In the current job I am working now, I am able to bring light to an RFP we are responding to for WV..a program I worked closely with. Not only that, but I am pretty much rewriting some stuff that I presented to WV before I left almost 10 yrs ago...the "cradle to grave" way - how to engage youth in a way to get them to understand the cause and them to stick with it until...well...the grave. Haha. Again, Full Circle.

There are other full circle situations that have taken place in which there has been such a sense of complete freedom. There are other full circles that I can't help but feel are on the horizon. It's truly an amazing season of life...I cannot express the excitement that I have. And through ALL OF IT God is showing that HIS perfect timing is best. Go figure, God knowing best..who woulda thunk?! ;)

I share this to encourage you all...when we don't understand, we get frustrated cause it's not what we think it should look like, or it's not happening in our timeframe... Be encouraged. He does in fact knows best. He does in fact have our best interest in mind. He does in fact hear us when we cry out. He does in fact know when is the best time to allow dreams to come true - when we are prepared to receive it in the right way.

I got to go to Africa y'all and you better believe I'll be going back next year!! Mark it off the bucket list...next, this girl needs to figure out a way to go swim with dolphins ;) haha


Sidenote: currently flying to Seattle...yes, I am beyond stoked to see my family, but the primary reason I am going at this point and time is because both my grandma's are pretty much on their last leg - DAMN cancer! I want one more solid visit before I get the call. All about making sweet memories this Memorial Day weekend. that being said, please pray for swiftness and that this is not a long process in which there is a lot of suffering. One gma can go of a heart attack (for other reasons) at any time and the other was told when I was in Africa that she had 2-4 months. Also, keep my parents and family in prayer... It's a rough season and sometimes hardships like this can bring out the ugly in people...we saw this when my grandfathers died 7 yrs ago (yes, they passed within 2 weeks of wah other). I know and TRUST that God is in control....

Comfort Blanket

Did you ever have a comfort blanket when you were younger?! I sure did! I LOVED my "blankie." I think it survived all the way up to the ripe old age of 8! It went everywhere with me. When I got up in the morning it covered my face when my mom was singing at the top of her lungs to wake me up. It went to breakfast...whether it was wrapped around my shoulders or on my lap. I took it in the car if we went on errands or school or wherever (mom would make us leave the "blankie" in the car if we were in public places - meaning too many germs. haha). I mean, I wore that "blankie" out!!! I think mom retired both mine and my brother's when they had shrunk down to the size of a patch (slight exaggeration).

Definition of "security blanket"
n.
1. A blanket carried by a child to reduce anxiety.
2. Informal Something that dispels anxiety.


Do you have a comfort blanket in your life? Maybe something that you go to find comfort?! Whether it be something physical, tangible, or an action you do....

Truth be told, as much as I drink coffee....I DO NOT always like that taste of it! (i know, shocking news...especially since it seems like I always have one in hand). Don't get me wrong...I like it, but don't always love it for how much money I spend on it. It's a taste I built up the tolerance for since I was YOUNG (I blame my mother). I like the comfort of something in my hand. In the morning it feels so good to have a hot cup of joe in my hand. I do LOVE the smell of fresh brewed coffee. I also have grown accustom to the caffeine and it waking me up and sustaining me throughout my busy schedule.

So this past Monday marked the start day of giving up coffee til May and as well pushing the reset button on my alcohol intake (admittance: tolerance is way higher than I ever want it to be - all about the healthy boundaries). So no coffee to wake me up in the morning and no glass of red to put me to sleep at night. I don't want to say these are "vices"...but in a sense they were as well as a "comfort blankets." I've made it through this first week...in which there have been a few hard times...especially sleeping at night, but all in all I am glad I have made this decision and it's a healthy one (not to mention will help my voice last while helping lead worship in Africa in 28 days).

I was sharing my decision to do this with a friend and she was sharing with me that she was giving up chocolate starting this week too. She goes to chocolate to find comfort...which is also not good seeing as summer is around the corner ;) But she found herself eating a TON of chocolate when she was sad, happy, bored, stressed. It became a "vise" a "comfort blanket"

I started thinking about this more and more...and then in my quiet time the Lord spoke clearly...the Holy Spirit is your Comforter...He is your "comfort blanket".... So many scriptures back this up (below) and also goes with what I feel the Lord has been speaking to me and many others about the Holy Spirit.

John 14:16
John 14:26
John 15:16
John 16:7
and the list goes on


We all have our "comfort blankets" or "blankies" - not all are bad or unhealthy...it depends how far we take it, but where do you find TRUE comfort in your life?



SIDENOTE:
Well, it has come to the wire....I still need to raise $650 for Kenya by Monday!! EEEKK!!! A lot of you have said you wanted to help and I guess I did not read it clearly that all the moola had to be in 30 days out...and well, we have hit that mark. So (and you all know I never ask for help like this) if you wanna help send me on my first trip to Africa to go work in the slums...you can donate online by going to crosspoint.tv/give, (click: One time donation, Campus: Nashville, Other: [A box will pop up] then type: "Annie Crandall + Nairobi" then continue to the payment info.). ** I also have a "Mission Trip Tax Donation Form" if you need it :)**

Thank you so much for reading this and even considering to help!

Love you all dearly and have a great weekend
Annie

It is what it is....what it is..is a wrastle!!

"It is what it is" a phrase you will here me say a lot. Not being passive, but I like to roll with it...it being life. And in some situations there is not a lot you can do...kind of along for the ride. The past 3 months are nothing short of a lot of rolling with it and God has shown Himself nothing short of incredibly faithful. Showing Himself in ways I would have never guessed. I'll save a lot of detail...or details I feel worthy of sharing in another blog.

Admission: I have like 5 blog posts I've been writing and rewriting and writing and rewriting. Lots to say, share, and speak life into...just finding the right way to say things and in the right time.

So in the past few months I have been praying that the Lord open my eyes up to things in me that are not "pretty," things I need to change....if I say something that I should not that He would make it clear (guard my tongue)...not to be afraid to apologize when I am in the wrong (which is not something I struggle with, but there are things I may not see that I should apologize for). Basically I want to see me and my actions through His eyes...to continue to be stretched, molded, and refined into the woman of God and character that He desires.

Be careful what you pray for sometimes, right?! ;)

The struggle between human nature (my human nature) and God's will has truly become more clear and I am widely aware...even in the moment sometimes. It's been crazy and very challenging. To be so raw and true to myself and to others even when they don't think it's a big deal what I am calling myself out for or what not. I have always said I am an open book and yes, that is about 85% true maybe a bit more sometimes..but let's be real...we aren't fully raw and honest...there are things we keep quiet, hide, maybe fudge on a bit.

Last weekend, some things happend...long story short I met up with some friends and I just felt myself being super bratty...I mean, I didn't like me and that barely ever happens ;) haha. I went to bed feeling icky cause I was not being me and didn't really get why I was being that way. The next morning I got a nice little wake up nudge at 6am and had a great convo with the Lord which inevitably ended with me realizing the root of it and how the snowball effect started and ended with me being bratty. Goodness. All that being said....the identifying of the key "issue" and praying/working through to the resolution....maybe resolution is not the right word, but dealing with it to the degree that I can and then getting my eyes back where they belong....on Him.

I told a friend the other day who is going through a bit of the same "ish" I had to deal/wrastle with about a pic I got...it's super simple, but it is what I needed as a reminder.... I was wrapped up in the circumstances and letting "ish" get me down...saddened if you will...when the Lord gently lifted my chin and made the gesture as to say "eyes up here." it was what I needed to realize what I had allowed in to steal my joy and cause me to be sad.

Now don't get me wrong, we have to go through the motions....sadness, anger, joy....the list goes on AND yes there are times we will be bratty and I am far from being an angel, but when it is unnecessary and something you choose to let bring you down....well, I vote you fight to get out of the funk!

Have you ever had moments when you are doing or saying something that you wish you could push pause and stop something from happening?

Do you have moments when there is a game plan, but you know in your gut the game plan needs to change or even to the point of taking yourself out of the game plan?!

Even though this new season of refinement and lessons to be learned is hard and a bit frustrating at times...I am enjoying it! I want to learn my lessons head on. I don't want to go in circles and the Lord try to teach me the same lesson in different ways or even the same ways. I want to learn, grow, and love with eyes wide open.

This it for now...loves to y'all (said in my best southern accent)